As one article quoted "thousands of Alams and Navins get thrown behind bars over petty domestic disputes, many of which have nothing to do with dowry"
Many have lost their jobs, sisters and mothers of many innocent husbands have been jailed. The most horrible part is even after a strong battle and winning these false cases, the creator of 498a can go scot-free. Its a shame how stupid 498a is and how many more women (mothers and sisters) are become victims to the false cases in the name of a law made to protect and safeguard women.
I am no different and my family and I have suffered a great deal and are suffering as we continue the fight against false cases filed on us. Read these comments on an article on times of india and i believe this is true to each word.
"EVERY INDIAN WOMAN WHO GETS CAUGHT HAVING SEX WITH ANOTHER MAN , SLAPS SEC 498A AGAINST HER HUSBAND . . .. TO MILK ALIMONY . . .WITH WHICH SHE AND HER LOVER CAN ENJOY . . . . .YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW SINISTER WOMAN CAN BE "
Yes, my wife cheated on me and guess what she slapped a 498a on me with numerous false accusations. Again let me assure you all, am not the only one and there are thousands others in the same situation as i am and its about time we (men) start worrying about the manhood and our rights in this women biased society.
My tragic story started in 2015 when i have taken this stupid decision, the most expensive stupid decision of my life. I have decided to get married. Like million other indian marriages mine was an arranged marriage too. We have briefly talked over phone before meeting however we don't know each other much. I got married in Feb and soon after that I had to fly back to UK where I live and work.
I always thought that I am very smart and that I am very intelligent well may be I was with my academics and doing well at work but when it came to the most important aspect of life I have been the biggest fool. I have failed to see how am being played and I have made a proper fool out of me. Having said that while it was a bit late may be but I have acted really fast once I have noticed that am being played.
My wife (soon to be ex) always have delayed the visa application process, She avoided to talk to me and used to be busy with her college. I never was too concerned about it as i was busy myself in UK and we spoke once or twice a week and she was absolutely normal when we were on phone. Being in UK, I use a calling card to call her and which fortunately provides a detailed history of the calls I made over last 18 months. Mostly our conversations were to do with the visa application process which seemed perfectly fine given that was the obvious priority.
Visa process was tedious with IELTS (waiting list of 3 months) requirement, Settlement visa in general is a long wait with average decisions made in 5-7 weeks. Due to the IELTS and documents requirement we weren't able to apply for visa until mid August 2015 and during this time, i have had no pressure from my wife however her parents were constantly worried about the visa delays. I paid for her IELTS exam, her IELTS coaching and also have obviously transferred her money as and when she needed. I have paid/spent at-least £2000 towards all this including the money I have transferred. She stayed with my parents in Vijayawada while she was attending her IETLS classes.
She was always happy with me while her parents were constantly worried, I did sense something was very wrong with their worry as sometimes it was more than normal. It was more like they wanted to send her off as soon as they can. To add to all this, my wife's visa got rejected in October for some very trivial reasons. While her parents were more annoyed , my wife was very understanding (I thought), she never questioned me over these delays and unfortunate visa rejection, I thought she was being very supportive.
I have re-appealed as the reasons for rejections were trivial, on top of this I have also emailed home office escalating the denial of visa on trivial reasons. Within two weeks of doing this, I got a response indicating that they have decided to over turn the decision. I have informed her immediately of this and she didn't sound excited and infact she asked me to call back as she was in the college. It was not the first time, so i didn't take seriously. She made an excuse of exams and didn't go to submit her passport for a month. And when VFS contacted her to collect the passport she again delayed it by another two weeks. For some reason she always had exams.
Finally she collected her passport on the 19th Feb 2016 and she had visa only given till 26th of Feb 2016. As the rest of the permit will be given on a bio-metric card and she needs to come and collect it after arriving in UK. So in short it was great, finally she got the visa. Well wish it was that simple.
I booked her flights for 25th, she landed on 25th (again paid £350 for her ticket as it was short notice). From the day she landed in UK she acted completely different to what she was on phone with me. She was very reserved, she was always busy with her Laptop/mobile she used to complain about being tired due to Jet lag for weeks. Which was weird given UK is only 5 1/2 hours behind. She used to go to bed at 6-7am before I got home and wont wake up until 6-7 (after i left to work). This was going on for two weeks, when I have finally confronted her and she said she wants to concentrate on getting a Job and thats why she is being very stressful. I have tried to tell her that its nothing to worry and that she need to not stress her self to get a job however she insisted that she wants to get a Job as she always wanted to work. For which I agreed to support.
During this time, My parents were also in UK visiting us for few months. She never treated them well and have always picked up on silly things and have humiliated them before me. I was getting worried about her behaviour when I have over heard her phone conversation with someone, and I heard her say in telugu "Ok he is coming, i can't talk now, bye" followed by some noise of kissing good bye over phone. This was worrying, and guys when I said before I have acted fast when i realised I am being played, this is what i meant. When I heard this ,I almost acted instantly.
My home security records any noise in my flat when i have locked the door and emails me. There have been several emails, however most of these were even when my parents were talking to each there, were on phone to someone in India etc. I have gone ahead and listened to the recordings since she came to UK. My conscience didn't allow me to, however I did it as I sensed that am being played. What i wrote here took me ten mins however being with her for weeks, i have sensed a lot more than what i typed here and that made me go ahead and listen to her calls.
Many calls were with her parents, where she was obviously bitching about me and my parents and which i thought was normal and actually laughed it off. However i came across few conversations with a guy named 'Nandu'. This guy is her boy friend and they have been in affair since few years. There was a conversation where she mentioned about missing her periods since she came to UK and that as they have met last on the 22nd of February she is worried that she might be pregnant. She never got close to me and we never have consummated the marriage.
Also this was not just a fling in the past as they were talking about him coming over to UK on a student visa and that she is confident she will get a Job before he is here. This was obviously the biggest shock of my life, it was very hurtful at the same time I was very angry for being played at. I wanted to confront her right away. However it was clear she came to UK not to live with me but to settle here in UK using me as a means to get visa.
Continued in Part 2
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