Its clear that I am being cheated and I have been very good with conflict management or risk mitigation as a matter of fact that is what i do for a major bank in the UK but when it came to handling my risks i was far too worried and was more concerned than ever as I started to see how this can turn if not handled carefully.
I have obviously discussed what I found out with my parents who were gutted and were depressed to see my marriage fail. It took us a day to come to terms with whats happening and again I have acted real fast as I was worried of whats coming next.
Right around this time, my grand mother got sick and was admitted in the hospital. I have been informed of potential restructuring at work which might risk my job and it was depressing that everything bad was happening at the same time.After lot of thinking, I have decided to confront my wife.
We were going to india to see my grand mother and hence I have decided to talk to my wife when we have landed in India this is to make sure I can also at the same time confront her parents of what she has done and I have listened to a call that my wife was talking to with her Dad and she was talking about Nandu with him. This means her parents were aware of this guy.
We arrived in Hyderabad on the 17th of March, my brother came to pick up at the airport and we went to a hotel as my parents house is in Vijayawada and my brothers flat was too far from the airport. We had a flight to next day early morning to chennai to visit my grand mother who was hospitalised in chennai.
I have confronted her and she accepted that she has the affair after listening to the calls I have and have apologised for cheating me. I have questioned her of why she used me to get the visa if she didn't want to stay with me? She said that she wanted to be single for a while and her parents forced her to come to the UK and that she came only so she can stay single after she has settled by getting a job in the UK. I said to her that the is using me as a means to get Visa and that I am absolutely shattered to know this. She apologised and requested me to forgive her and that she doesn't mind to be my servant to stay in the UK but she needs an year.
When i heard this, i almost lost my cool. I told her that will an immigration fraud and that she can only and should only stay in the UK if she is married to me on the spouse visa and that she cannot if she wants to stay single. I said that this is very upsetting to know her intentions and to that what she answered has blown my mind. She said, its not just upsetting you, its also upsetting me to be with you without liking you.
I told her well then don't be, lets talk to your parents. She asked me not to and that it will upset her parents. I told her what about upsetting me and my parents with whatever she was doing and she obviously had no answer.
I got her parents to the room we were talking and have told them everything , initially they refused to accept however my wife accepted that she has done a mistake and that what am saying is right and that she doesn't want to be with me. Her mom started reacting wild and tried her best to twist however having failed she started yelling that she will hunt the guy that her daughter is having affair with and will kill him. I have also recorded all this conversations and have both audio and video of all the above discussion both with her and her parents.
Her parents finally gave up trying to cover the mess up and started to beg me and my parents that we forgive her of what she has done and that we give her another chance. Having knows her true intentions and how she was talking down of my parents and how she was planning with a guy to settle in UK by ditching me and more importantly how she said she is reading online about the UK laws to get money from me after divorce etc. Me and my parents politely refused to give her any chance to be with me and said sorry but for us this is it and we cannot continue in this relation anymore.
Having heard this, my wife's dad and uncle started acting weird and was warning us of filing fake cases if we don't listen to them. At this stage, we avoided having any further conversations with them and have asked them to sleep over this and that we can re group again in couple of days after i return from chennai visiting my grand mother. They agreed to it and left as they thought we were scared of their warnings.
I have immediately approached a Lawyer when i sensed that they might be filing these fake cases. Now Lawyers in India are another thing that you never know what their interest is you or your money. Lesson i have learnt is you have be very assertive when talking to a Lawyer and get them to do what you want then following whatever they say.
Our Lawyer advised us to file a petition for Divorce on family court on the grounds of cheating. And if they were to come to a compromise then you can amicable resolve. And so we did. This was on 18th March 2016 however the notice wasn't sent to my wife or her family.
On 19th March, my wife and her parents have filed the infamous 498a with false accusations. As we feared, our family because another victim to this women biased law. Knowing this my dad called her dad and he tried to scare us and demanded 10 Lakhs in cash or that they will continue and file the 498a.
On 21st March, my wife, along with her father and a police went to uncles house in Hyderabad complaining that we are absconding, while they knew we were visiting our grand mother in chennai. We called our uncles house and spoke to the police and informed them that we will come to Hyderabad to have the conversations with them in a week.
However an FIR was filed against us on 24th March and the facts of the FIR are absolute lies.
1. It was claimed that my wife stayed at my uncles house along with my parents there and that she was harassed for Dowry.
- My parents have always stayed in vijayawada.
- My wife never stayed at my uncles house, she was in Eluru her home town attending college and for IELTS coaching she was staying with my parents in vijayawada.
2. It was claimed that I never spoke to her on phone since we got married.
- I have call history for last 12 months showing how many times I have called her on her mobile.
3. It was claimed that I have intentionally delayed the visa process.
- I have proof of booking IELTS at the next available date within a week of our marriage.
- Following up on visa process
- Escalating issue when visa was rejected with home office and managing to get the visa approved.
- Paying for the visa, medical surcharge, re-appeal , her tickets etc direct from my account.
4. It was claimed that they have paid 10 Lakhs as dowry and that we harassed her to pay another 25 Lakhs
- We have recording of her calls with her parents where she was actually abusing me and my parents and how she is harassing us. Which actually contradicts what she was claiming that she was harassed.
5. They even involved my brother into this, saying he and I together forced my wife to accept that she has illicit relationship and that she only accepted it because I said her that i wont take her back to UK if she doesn't accept.
- While clearly one can say its a lie, I mean who will accept to illicit relations just because someone says to ?
- Anyways, we also have a video recording of confronting her where she accepted about her extra marital affair and its clear there was no pressure on her.
We have great evidence don't we? So is it all good and doest it mean we are free from any harassment ? Unfortunately no and they have only begum to harass us. What they have put us through after this has been very stressful. Well thats how we have ended with 498a, sometimes it just makes me furious of how law lets a woman who cheated me who was unfair to me who tried to use me for her benefits can slap a case against me and thats allowed. Law is indeed blind.
Thanks guys for taking time in reading my posts. Please comment below and your moral support will help my family and I a great deal in overcoming these fake cases. Thanks in advance.
Please read my next post, 'my fight to survive the 498a' for more ongoing updates on our case.
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